Wow! Am I moody today or what!? I just want to eat more! The exercise is fine, I could do it 3 times over but the diet is poop!
I actually woke up this morning feeling nauseous and totally lacked any appetite.
After eating, I have to admit I still don't feel physically hungry, but I just want to eat some comfort food!!! I had a dream last night about a really large, plate overflowing with pasta and it actually repelled me and, I think that's why I woke up feeling a bit sick (and I'm definitely not pregnant). Anyway I felt fine after eating my mini-breakfast.
Channel 4 are currently broadcasting a great new documentary called Alone In The Wild.
The documentary is about Ed Wardle, a camera man who is dropped by plane into the Yukon wilderness in the northwest corner of Canada, with basic provisions and cameras to film himself, together with the intentions of living there completely alone for 3 months. I think the nearest human inhabitants are something ridiculous, like 300 miles away. It's a great, thrilling, ride of a documentary.
Why this is relevant is because food has been a big thing for me so far this week, as you can imagine. I'm basically in the process of reconditioning the way I feel about food and now at day 4, I'm feeling a bit emotional.
Food is clearly on my mind a lot at the moment if I'm even dreaming about it!
Anyway last night was episode 2 (maybe 20 days into his challenge) and, in summary old Ed is having a tough time. Not only has he got to deal with the constant fear of bears, relentless solitude (which is really causing havoc with his emotions) but he has practically no food. Well he has rations, which are measly, but so far he has managed to catch a little under 1 decent sized fish a day and a porcupine! Yuk!
Basically he can't find any food at all (see clip)
Anyway, he cried a lot in last night's episode and considers quitting. The lack of food and solitude is making him depressed and during his video diary he says to the camera "What would you do if you woke up and there was no food?".
Probably because of the PCP, this pricked something in my mind.
I've never ever had to think like that. Food has never not been available. Food, as with most of us in the Western world, has always been readily available and we have access to as much food as we want, whenever we want; every type of food we could ever desire.
So I question whether this is why we often over eat, and over indulge. Because we have so much of it, because it's always SO readily available and so we develop this emotional attachment to it. And we want more. Even though we're full. This, I can see is why we often crave comfort food and this is what I'm doing today.
So Patrick, I've learnt my lesson, can I eat more now? :) (just joking!)
Anyway for those of you who have not seen Alone In The Wild, you can watch a clip here...(it's not possible to embed)
Alone In The Wild
Thank goodness—I'm feeling the same way today too! You bring up an interesting point to consider. The indulgence is certainly a learned behavior.
ReplyDeleteIn practical terms, when I want to rebel and eat the ENTIRE apple, I stop and think: Okay, you know the half-portion will satisfy you. What is it that you really want?
Jeeze you all are so hardcore. I'll explain why the half diets have messed with you so much in a few days. Interesting stuff!
ReplyDeleteLove that you found this story and video. One of the underlying themes of my wanting to be more physically able and fit, probably has some weird deep seated fear I am not able to survive if put to a test. Like in the wilderness. Like the character in the show. eeek?
ReplyDeleteI know right now if I had to walk 20+ miles a day, carrying a heavy backpack, I could do it (done it). But I didn't do it without a support group and plenty of available food. In the wilderness, I fear my body would scream and I want to thrive, not just survive. Part of that is learning to not depend on food the way we have become accustomed in our comfortable easy dwelling and fully stocked lifestyles.
Food, it may be one of the bigger challenges of this whole project. But, the lessons and achievements we learn, will stay with us as a sense of accomplishment beyond the project. Let's see what next week brings?